Where do I begin? It
goes a long way back, that’s if I want to include infertility, years of trying
to conceive, years of IVF, years of failed cycles and then a pregnancy. A
miracle!
I will never forget my 3rd IVF and the 2 week wait, I was convinced yet again that this cycle had failed, the other two had and I also had 2 canceled cycles. I was afraid to do the pregnancy test. When I saw 2 lines, I couldn't believe it, it was positive I found it hard to believe it was finally happening for me. I did another test shortly after positive again!!! I was over excited and couldn't wait to tell my partner. We were over the moon, but I was still cautious, I had so many failures in the past, I couldn't allow myself to get too excited in case this wasn't real. So I made an appointment with the doctor to get a blood test.
My blood test was good it was 580, that didn't make much sense to me but I was told it was really strong and this was a good sign. I had another blood test a few days later and my beta had doubled, things were looking good...I made an appointment for an early scan; I was so excited to see what was happening inside my belly. Over the two weeks that I waited to have the scan I was nervous. What if I miscarried? By the time the scan happened I was a nervous wreck as I had no pregnancy symptoms and I thought this was a sign nothing was happening, but during the scan there they were my two peas in my pod. We couldn't believe it when we were looking at twins, what luck. It was the best news in the world; we were going to have two babies!!!!!
I will never forget that day we were so happy. It was like we were on another planet. We talked that evening about having two babies and at last we would have our family our two babies, boys or girls it wouldn't matter. We decided not to tell anybody for as long as we could get away with it. I was aware that this could be taken away from us at any time and I always had the fear that I would miscarry.
I was never sick throughout the entire pregnancy. I read about how the babies were developing, it felt so great to be looking at pregnancy sites instead of fertility sites. I was happier than I have ever been, I loved being pregnant and I especially loved being pregnant with twins!!!
I had another scan at 8 weeks and everything was good, followed by my 13 week scan where we could really see the babies, they were tiny but developing perfectly. Then at the 17 week scan, I was told I had nothing to worry about as I was progressing well. I joined a pregnancy Pilate’s class and walked in the gym. I started swimming but got an ear infection so I decided to stop. My next scan was due at 24 weeks, but 2 days before I had a little bit of spotting. This was the beginning of the end, this is the point where my life changed for good..
I will never forget this day. I was at work running a behavioral program with a group of children. I went to the toilet and there was some blood. I panicked and spoke to my colleague to excuse myself from the group. I tried to phone the hospital and my GP and then I decided to go to the emergency room. I needed to know everything was ok. I knew women sometimes have bleeds in pregnancy I just wanted to have it checked out, just to be on the safe side. I was told all was well nothing to worry about go home and rest and come back in two days for my 24 week scan. I spent the next 2 days in bed and returned to the hospital for my 24 week scan. The scan went well, the babies were active and healthy and I was healthy except for the spotting... I was sent home I was in great form. I was worrying for nothing, but later that night my waters broke and the nightmare began.
I remember lying in bed and feeling something is happening, I was scared. I looked up the pregnancy book, I knew my waters had broken and something terrible was wrong. I phoned the labor ward in our local hospital and they asked us to come in immediately. That drive to the hospital was hard, I was scared, I had no idea what was happening. At the hospital they did some tests and listened to the babies’ heart beats. They were both OK, still two heart beats. The hospital made plans to transport me to another hospital that had a neonatal unit and the next thing I was in an ambulance on my own, not knowing how this story would unfold. My partner followed me to the hospital where I spent the next 5 days on bed rest. I started to learn more about what was happening to me and I prayed that I could make it to 28 weeks as the twins would have a better chance of survival. Sadly on the fifth night I went into labor and 12 hours later the twins were born.
I will never forget my 3rd IVF and the 2 week wait, I was convinced yet again that this cycle had failed, the other two had and I also had 2 canceled cycles. I was afraid to do the pregnancy test. When I saw 2 lines, I couldn't believe it, it was positive I found it hard to believe it was finally happening for me. I did another test shortly after positive again!!! I was over excited and couldn't wait to tell my partner. We were over the moon, but I was still cautious, I had so many failures in the past, I couldn't allow myself to get too excited in case this wasn't real. So I made an appointment with the doctor to get a blood test.
My blood test was good it was 580, that didn't make much sense to me but I was told it was really strong and this was a good sign. I had another blood test a few days later and my beta had doubled, things were looking good...I made an appointment for an early scan; I was so excited to see what was happening inside my belly. Over the two weeks that I waited to have the scan I was nervous. What if I miscarried? By the time the scan happened I was a nervous wreck as I had no pregnancy symptoms and I thought this was a sign nothing was happening, but during the scan there they were my two peas in my pod. We couldn't believe it when we were looking at twins, what luck. It was the best news in the world; we were going to have two babies!!!!!
I will never forget that day we were so happy. It was like we were on another planet. We talked that evening about having two babies and at last we would have our family our two babies, boys or girls it wouldn't matter. We decided not to tell anybody for as long as we could get away with it. I was aware that this could be taken away from us at any time and I always had the fear that I would miscarry.
I was never sick throughout the entire pregnancy. I read about how the babies were developing, it felt so great to be looking at pregnancy sites instead of fertility sites. I was happier than I have ever been, I loved being pregnant and I especially loved being pregnant with twins!!!
I had another scan at 8 weeks and everything was good, followed by my 13 week scan where we could really see the babies, they were tiny but developing perfectly. Then at the 17 week scan, I was told I had nothing to worry about as I was progressing well. I joined a pregnancy Pilate’s class and walked in the gym. I started swimming but got an ear infection so I decided to stop. My next scan was due at 24 weeks, but 2 days before I had a little bit of spotting. This was the beginning of the end, this is the point where my life changed for good..
I will never forget this day. I was at work running a behavioral program with a group of children. I went to the toilet and there was some blood. I panicked and spoke to my colleague to excuse myself from the group. I tried to phone the hospital and my GP and then I decided to go to the emergency room. I needed to know everything was ok. I knew women sometimes have bleeds in pregnancy I just wanted to have it checked out, just to be on the safe side. I was told all was well nothing to worry about go home and rest and come back in two days for my 24 week scan. I spent the next 2 days in bed and returned to the hospital for my 24 week scan. The scan went well, the babies were active and healthy and I was healthy except for the spotting... I was sent home I was in great form. I was worrying for nothing, but later that night my waters broke and the nightmare began.
I remember lying in bed and feeling something is happening, I was scared. I looked up the pregnancy book, I knew my waters had broken and something terrible was wrong. I phoned the labor ward in our local hospital and they asked us to come in immediately. That drive to the hospital was hard, I was scared, I had no idea what was happening. At the hospital they did some tests and listened to the babies’ heart beats. They were both OK, still two heart beats. The hospital made plans to transport me to another hospital that had a neonatal unit and the next thing I was in an ambulance on my own, not knowing how this story would unfold. My partner followed me to the hospital where I spent the next 5 days on bed rest. I started to learn more about what was happening to me and I prayed that I could make it to 28 weeks as the twins would have a better chance of survival. Sadly on the fifth night I went into labor and 12 hours later the twins were born.
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