Transfer

Today I had my frozen egg transfer. It went well I think!!! It was all a bit too easy, usually there is so much more involved with a full round of IVF but today it was just show up and that was it. I seemed to be waiting for something to go wrong all day, I had so much nervous energy.

I arrived on my own after a long journey to Kiev, with a stopover in Amsterdam. I contacted my coordinator at the clinic when I arrived, she asked after my DH who I told her did not come with me. There was a scramble for a few hours as I was suppose to have a letter of consent from my DH with me. Since I didn't know about it till that moment there was a bit of work to contact DH and get letter written then scanned and sent to hospital. I thought for a while they would cancel transfer, but that was my own imagination running away with me.

I walked around the city in the evening taking in the now familiar sights as this is my second visit to the city. Kiev has a busy city centre with a really nice atmosphere. It is really warm here at the moment. So it was pleasant to sit outside and have my last glass of beer for the next two weeks and hopefully nine months!! I had a few mishaps, due to all the nervous energy, my sun glasses broke and then I forgot shopping at the supermarket. But as DH told me later on the phone, these are small incidents in the scale of things. Never a truer word spoken.

I slept well and set off to the clinic for a ten am appointment. There was still some confusion about the letter from DH as their computer system was down and also I couldn't pay as their credit card system was attached to computer system. I was a little hyper with little thought to how I was feeling about all of this. I was back in the same clinic where the twins were conceived meeting the same doctors, it was all a bit surreal.

The transfer took only a few moments and I was back in a room to rest for an hour. I had two, eight cell embryos transferred. The doctor informed me that they defrosted three to get two, this sounded good to me as originally I was told they would defrost four or five to get two. So I still have six embryos left. In my day dreams I hope to have a singleton pregnancy this time and come back for a sibling soon. How the mind works, all the plans for an unknown future.... I was given a scan picture of the transfer, which I forgot and then I proceeded to get really pissed with myself for doing so. I question is this another bad omen. But of course I know now, which I never paid heed to before that there is no luck or ritual one can do in the hope of a better outcome. Things just happen for no good reason. Yes bad things happen to good people and a forgotten scan picture won't change that...

I do feel different this time round. Firstly before the twin pregnancy I didn't even know if I could get pregnant, they showed me that I could. I don't allow myself to get too carried away with what may or may not happen. I now have someone more concrete to talk to as I haven't stopped talking to the twins throughout this whole experience. I am taking them on the journey with me. They are on my mind constantly.

Now I am alone in my hotel room, reflecting on my day and my two little embryos snuggled up in my uterus, hoping one will survive.. Too be honest I would love the two of them to survive but my doctor would not.. Now to start the two week wait.. With its many ups and downs... I hate this part of the treatment where every twinge or cramp is analysed.. I hate the waiting.